SEXUAL ADDICTION- A SOFT KILLER

Hi Folks, I’m sorry that the follow- up to our let’s talk about sex series is coming later than I envisaged. Please pardon me. Today, I will be talking about what I call a soft killer, sexual addiction.

Let me define sexual addiction, Sexual addiction is an uncontrollable compulsive appetite for sex that keep reoccurring. it is overwhelming and often becomes like second nature. You may have started it ignorantly but over time, it becomes a habit which you discover that you can no longer control when the urge comes. Even though you desire to stop, but you literarily find yourself going back to do, that which you hate to do.

I want you to note that sexual addiction is not sexual feeling (which is normal for anyone that has reached puberty) or one- off sexual sin. It is pertinent to add that sexual feeling is God’s design; however it must be controlled until the appropriate time. Animals have sex based on instinct, while human beings are meant to have sex by choice.

I have discovered through studies, personal research and interactions with teens, young adults and even married people that sexual addiction cuts across board. The problem is that issues of sexual addiction are hardly discussed openly because of the kind of environment in this part of the world. What bothers me most is that the underlying factor in some cases is not an outright desire to go into promiscuity that led them to being held captive by this taskmaster that kills by instalments. It is one of the greatest battles that are being fought by mankind without the use of physical weapons; the battlefield is the mind.

Sexual addiction comes in various forms, they include

a. Voyeurism or mind sex (persons who derive sexual pleasure from watching others (especially secretly) who are naked or taking part in sexual activity. This is manifested through the following media:

(1) Cybersex ( through the internet).

(2) Visits to pornographic sites, watching of blue/x-rated films/DVD.

(3) Reading of x-rated magazines, books and erotic music and its videos.

b. Masturbation - Although some schools of thought are of the opinion that it is harmless, but from personal experience and about 14 years of counselling both single and married people, I have discovered that it has serious psychological and spiritual adverse effect on victims.

c. Different forms of sexual perversions- I call them perversions because they are deviations from the original plan of God the creator, for sex. Sex was meant to be between a man and a woman ( as was defined in my last post) within the context of marriage. These perversions include

(1) Lesbianism (sex between 2 women/girls). It is quite common now in boarding schools.

(2) Homosexuality (sex between 2 men/boys). It is also very common among teenagers and young adults.

(3) Incest – Sex between close relatives i.e people who are considered too closely related to have such a relationship.


       ...............................................To be continued