LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

      "It all happened after a Valentine's Day Night Party, my boyfriend took me to his room and said he wanted to prove his love for me by sleeping with me.  He assured me that since it was my first time that I wasn't going to get pregnant and I believed him.  That month, I missed my period and when I didn't see my period again the following month , I was disturbed and I went to see a doctor.  The doctor carried out some tests and confirmed that I was pregnant.   I sat there confused and shattered. My whole world came crumbling down.   I was just 16 years old preparing to sit for my senior school certificate examination....."

         That is one of the many typical cases of the aftermath of Valentine's Day activities that occur year in, year out.   Yes, the Valentine season is here again, a period when many 'funny' things happen in the name of 'LOVE'.   

         I can hear someone musing aloud "Hahaa! Dele must have gone nuts to start talking about sex". But you will agree with me that the fact that sex and sexuality issues had hitherto been kept as dark secrets, even in religious circles and homes, has led to many lives being destroyed and destinies cut short.  That is why I have decided to talk about SEX.   This is so because when the actual purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.

        In this  computer age, when all sorts of information is available at the click of a button, if we fail to properly educate the young generation , they will seek for help elsewhere and they could be misguided/misinformed. The consequences could be very disastrous.   Many children/teens get abused sexually by older adults( family members inclusive) who take advantage of their naivety .  Others get unduly exposed to x-rated materials, pornography sites and blue films due to curiousity/peer influence. 

       Therefore for the next few weeks, I will be talking sex and sexuality issues on this blog.   The series will cover myths/lies about sex, sexual addictions (its symptoms, effect and the way out), overcoming masturbation , how to avoid sex outside marriage among others.   You may say I'm not a teenager/young adults but your knowledge can help to shapen the thoughts of young adults around you(including your children).  I will be sharing personal testimonies and real life cases of people that God has helped to live above dirty habits.  I will also appreciate comments and contributions from you guys.  Let's roll.

       First, we need to define sex. This is necessary because if one's understanding of sex is wrong, then the use of it will be wrong.    In the course of my studies and research, I came across various definitions. But I will like to define it this way, sex, in its original context,  is a covenant exchange of life and pleasure between a man and woman within the marriage environment. It for the purpose of procreation,unity and expression of married love.  It involves not just the union of their bodies but includes the fusion of their souls and spirits.    So, sex outside this definition is an abnormal use(abuse).

        Having had a working definition of sex, I want to debunk some common myths/lies about sex that has negatively impacted the lives of young adults.

 MYTHS/LIES ABOUT SEX

   
1.     MYTH:    Everybody is doing it, so why can't I do it.

        FACT:  Not everybody is doing it, there are still people who are keeping themselves            undefiled until they are married.   The question is that what do you believe is right for you?

2.     MYTH:    It is old-school to still be a virgin at 21.

        FACT:      There is nothing old-school about it, its all about putting a value on your priced   possession.  Never be ashamed of your "status"(VIRGIN).   There are people over 30 years old that have not been deflowered. They are waiting for the right time; when they get married.

3.     MYTH:   You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

        FACT:     You can get pregnant the first time you have sex( I'm sure you read the story at the beginning of this post). It has been proved over and over again. So, beware!

4.    MYTH:    You can't get pregnant if you are in your period / just after your period or you have irregular periods.

       FACT:       It's unlikely but not impossible to get pregnant during your period.  According to gynaecologists, some ladies ovulate during their period or just after the end of their period and sperms can survive for days after intercourse.  According to Stein,  a sexualist expert, "some women, especially those with infrequent periods due to stress or other factors can have spotting without a menstrual period even during ovulation, when they are most likely to get pregnant.

5.    MYTH:    If you don't have sex as a teenager , the  sperm in a guy's body is likely to dry up or a girl's vagina opening will become sealed.

       FACT: A blatant lie!

6.     MYTH:   If a guy has a small penis, he can't make a woman pregnant and the only way to make the penis bigger is to have sex regularly before marriage.

        FACT:   Wrong assumption!  According to Ira Sharlip, a clinical professor of Urology, its not in the size, size has got nothing to do with it. There is no clinical proof to support the myth. It is a thing of the mind. A man's ability to get a woman pregnant is not dependent on the size of his manhood.

7.     MYTH:   You can only prove that you love a guy by having sex with him.

        FACT:     False! That is lust. If a guy loves you , he will wait for marriage and not destroy your       future.  Sex is not equal to love, that is why prostitutes can sleep with 10 men in a day for money and not be attached emotionally to anyone of them.

8.    MYTH:    You can't get pregnant if:

       a.   You drink krest or mountain dew after sex.

       b.   Have sex in a swimming pool.
       c.   You are both virgins.
       d.    You douche(wash up) or urinate immediately after sex.

       e.    The lady washes her private part with alum after sex.

       f.     The girl pushes really hard on her belly button  after sex.

      FACT:     The above are all lies.  Researchers have proven over the years, that abstinence is the only 100% foolproof of preventing pregnancy, not even the use of birthcontrol measures.

      So long for today, for queries, questions and personal counselling, you can send me a mail at dele_arogundade@yahoo.com or call me on 234-8037036549. All cases will be treated with utmost confidentiality.   Happy Valentine's Day in advance, stay pure, protect your future.  See you next week.

Dele