20 WAYS TO SUSTAIN LOVE IN THE HOME

Let me start by establishing the fact that science taught us that one of the characteristics of living things is the capability to grow. Furthermore, living things can also die if not properly nurtured to produce the desired growth. Over the years, I have also discovered that LOVE is a living thing (surprised?). Thus, it can be nurtured to grow deep and strong. However, if it is not well nurtured, it can also die. That is why I do not fully agree with the saying that couples ‘fall in love’. I feel it is more appropriate to say ‘grow in love’. To this end, I will be sharing some tips with you on how you can make love grow and blossom in the home even many years after the wedding. > There must be constant and sincere communication between spouses, this prevents rumours and doubts. Always talk it over and be in the picture of what the other spouse is feeling/doing. > Learn to say sorry when you are wrong and accept responsibility for your action (many men find it difficult to do this). > Let your spouse be part of the decision making in the home. Men should learn to seek the opinion of their wives and adopt it if it is reasonable/better. > The phrase ‘I love you’ should not be said on a monthly basis. Let it be an everyday affair. It keeps the flame of love burning. > Get interested in what your spouse does ( job, hobby or vocation). It gives your spouse a sense of belonging. Be his/her No 1 motivator. > There should be mutual respect for each other in the home. Men should not lord it over their wives. Wives should be submissive, no matter their position in the society. > Couples must realize that marriage is all about compromise. Remember you are from different backgrounds. A little football match watched together and sometimes a soap opera watched with your spouse gives him/her a lift. It must not be that one partner should have his/her way all the time. > Be a good listener. > Correct one another in love. When one is angry, the other must learn to be still. Two wrongs don’t make a right. > Do not look for the best spouse, be the better partner. > Learn to assist your spouse in the household chores- even washing of undies sometimes, baby sitting or bathing the kids. > Appreciate one another’s looks, dresses, hairdo and meals. > Send love notes, romantic text messages to your spouse periodically. It should not end on the wedding night. Learn to woo your spouse over and over again. It works like MAGIC! > Send her cards, not only on her birthday but from time to time even if she has grown much bigger than you met her. Let her know you do really and still love her. > Take time out together – go on strolls, visit cinemas ( if you have one in the neighbourhood), go on vacations/weekends( leave the kids out sometimes). Occasional dinner dates do water the seed of love. > Learn to share jokes and play together. It fans the flame of love. > Don’t use your spouse’s weakness/shortcoming to spite him/her. > Do everything to protect your spouse and speak well of him/her in front of friends and relatives. Don’t run him/her down. > Learn to pray for one another. > Be creative in the bedroom. Let it be an experience to always look forward to. > Discuss what tickles or makes your spouse feel fulfilled (behind closed doors) - it is not for only one party to enjoy. This is very important as this factor has been the remote cause of many broken homes. I want to suggest that couples should read books like- The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly Lahaye. Ignorance is a disease! These are just a few tips and it is not exhaustive. However, if you try these, I strongly believe you will not just be enduring but actually enjoying your marriage. A home where love is so real you can touch it. Feel free to send in your comments. For more counselling, comments or questions you can call Dele Arogundade on +2348037036549/+2348072316919 or send a personal mail to dele_arogundade@yahoo.com